The Kleptomaniac

There’s something a little strange going on at Furtwänglerstrasse 97. Things are going missing. A teaspoon here, a tissue there. It seems we have a plunderer in our midst. And here’s my hunch: the culprit gets about on two chubby legs and wears a pair of red shoes. I don’t know where she gets it from, but it seems our Rosebud is a hoarder. You can see it all over her little pink face. When the light creeps in through her bedroom window in the morning, her first thought  is “Where are my red shoes?” This is closely followed by “Where did I park my trolley?” Rose and her trolley are then inseparable for the rest of the day. Her finds are picked up, turned over and inspected, appraised and then carefully deposited in her four-wheeled vessel, which is then maneuvered to pastures new. This process occurs continuously, until at the end of the day when she’s sound asleep, we are left with a wagon full of booty and wondering where did the keys go? Among Rose’s most highly prized possessions are flash-drives, wooden blocks and stacking rings, items of junk mail, fridge magnets, books, items of Tupperware, sticks of lip balm and puzzle pieces. Anything that happens to fall from the clothes line and anything left on the bathroom floor are quickly snaffled up. I’ve seen her reach for the stars with the TV remote, and even the ball of mineral pellets I use in the washing machine, all the while looking surreptitiously over her shoulder. So now that the mystery of absconding items has been solved, its been amusing and a little intriguing to see the pilferer at work. The most interesting part is how she makes a treasure out of each little item, taking them out to savor and admire, and placing them strategically around the house. I’ll be keeping an eye on the silver!


Jonathan Jo
Has a mouth like an “O”
And a wheelbarrow full of surprises;
If you ask for a bat,
Or for something like that,
He has got it, whatever the size is.

A. A. Milne

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3 Responses to “The Kleptomaniac”


  1. 1 lesley March 30, 2010 at 8:25 pm

    clearly a talented young lady who will no doubt join her mum in the years to come – when you go to the markets and look over all the treasures that are available to those who are wiling to patiently collect them, but a cleptomanic! – not our little Rosebud – maybe she operated by the philosophy of what is yours is hers also – God bless her in her little red shoes

  2. 2 Arthur March 30, 2010 at 9:57 pm

    I can’t help myself. It is puzzling that Rose has developed a penchant for finding things and hoarding them when her mum has a well deserved reputation, carefully garnered over many years, for losing them!! You now have the prefect explanation for the lost keys, mobile phones, clothing etc etc etc Ally!!

  3. 3 Jill April 17, 2010 at 3:42 am

    Maybe she’s an historian in the making. Saving today’s treasures and apparent trivia for tomorrow’s folk to interpret. A significant collection? Love as ever, Jill


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A girl with a camera, a toddler and a sewing machine. Making sense of Germany... and life in general.

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